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Dealing with challenging coworkers with Amy Gallo
There’s a lot you can choose in life. You can choose your outfit and which snack to pull from the cupboard. You can choose your friends. But you generally can’t pick your coworkers. If you’re lucky, they’re all wonderful people with whom you get along swimmingly. But it’s likely that at some point in your career, you’ll struggle to get along with someone at work. And while there’s no way to prevent having crappy cubicle mates, there are strategies you can use to deal with them more effectively and make everyone’s lives easier.
Positive work relationships, as Harvard Business Review editor Amy Gallo emphasizes, are not only nice to have but also crucial for performance, creativity, and well-being. By prioritizing empathy and upfront communication, Gallo’s principles for managing tough conversations and engaging with difficult colleagues can help everyone create more generative, amiable professional communities.
Learning objectives:
Address unhealthy patterns of behavior and foster healthy work relationships.
Navigate and learn from difficult conversations.
Increase self-control and self-awareness during conflicts.
Disagree productively.
Communicate effectively in remote work environments.
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Lessons:
Lesson 1: Why Workplace Relationships Matter
It makes sense that feeling connected to others at work increases your job satisfaction and happiness. After all, the average person spends 90,000 hours of their life at work, according to data scientist Andrew Naber. And while you don’t have to hit a karaoke bar with coworkers every week, workplace expert Amy Gallo argues that you do need positive coll…
Lesson 2: Archetypes of Difficult People (The Egoists)
Philosopher Richard Rose once said, “The ego is the single biggest obstruction to the achievement of anything.” Yet at work, where we’re trying to accomplish so much, egos are everywhere. Workplace expert Amy Gallo has pinpointed archetypes of people whose egos make it challenging to get along and get things done and argues the key to working with them …
Lesson 3: Archetypes of Difficult People (The Exhaustors)
Have you ever gotten to work ready for a great day, only to be met by a bunch of negative coworkers? One drops a microaggression as soon as you walk in the door. One’s convinced a project will fail. Another thinks their manager is out to get them. And one sends a snarky “as per my last email” message before you’ve had a chance to reply. And suddenly, yo…
Lesson 4: Navigating Difficult Conversations
Have you ever had a difficult conversation sprung on you? It can throw you for a loop and lead to defensiveness if you aren’t mentally prepared for it. And then, to add insult to injury, the conversation isn’t as productive as it could have been with time to collect and organize your thoughts in advance or an intentional lead-in.
Lesson 5: Managing Your Emotions During Conflict
Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is credited with saying, “One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head, too.” Similarly, workplace expert Amy Gallo argues that our emotions often hijack our rational thinking during a conflict, causing us to craft stories that may not be wholly based on reality yet still f…
Lesson 6: Nine Principles for Success (Principles 1-3)
In the Harry Potter series, Hermione Granger carries a magic bag that can hold absolutely anything she may need — like camping equipment or her entire book collection. She’s prepared for any problem.
Lesson 7: Nine Principles for Success (Principles 4-6)
It’s not realistic to expect people to maintain constant positivity. In fact, a movement has developed against “toxic positivity” in the workplace since it’s natural to be in a bad mood now and then. However, certain types of negativity can undercut the psychological safety and sense of camaraderie within an organization, and it’s best not to let them t…
Lesson 8: Nine Principles for Success (Principles 7-9)
Being stuck in your own perspective and struggling to put yourself in someone else’s proverbial shoes can be one of the biggest triggers of conflict. Your irritation that a coworker always extends meetings by asking for items to be restated at the end (They’re stealing five minutes from your break!) might blind you to the fact they’re a visual learner w…
Lesson 9: Disagreeing with a Purpose
It’s unlikely you’ll agree with everything and everyone at work all the time. And that’s okay. While it seems like it’d be nice if everything was always sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, and consensus, workplace expert Amy Gallo says that avoiding disagreements can result in organizations failing to innovate or to address mistakes or flaws. She argues that…
Lesson 10: Addressing Tension Remotely
We’ve all had someone misinterpret the tone of a text or e-mail we’ve sent and been confused by their emotional or offended response. Or maybe you’ve interpreted the period at the end of a “Goodnight.” message as a slamming door when that’s not how the sender intended it. The same sort of misunderstandings are common in remote meetings as well and can m…




















