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Oliver Burkeman explains why we can’t (and shouldn’t) do it all
Modern media often seems to insist that we can (and should) do it all: pursue meaningful work, maintain work-life balance, nurture friendships, exercise regularly, advance our careers, even frolic with our pets. These are all undeniably worthwhile pursuits. But the real problem isn’t their value, says author Oliver Burkeman — it’s our humanity. We’re finite, mortal beings, and physically can’t do it all.
This might sound like bad news, but Burkeman argues it’s liberating. In this video lesson, he shares how accepting our limits can simplify decision-making and help us focus on what truly matters.
Learning objectives:
Release the constraints of perfectionism that hold you back.
Adopt a balanced, sustainable approach to productivity.
Prioritize a few meaningful outcomes that matter – today.
Reframe discomfort as a nudge toward growth.
Live your ideal identity now while making room for serendipity.
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Lessons:
Lesson 1: Let Go of Perfectionism
“New year, new you.” It’s a phrase we hear every January — a catchy marketing slogan crafted to sell gym memberships and juice cleanses. While some take the sentiment seriously, the emergence of “Quitter’s Day” (observed around January 10) highlights just how fleeting these resolutions often are.
Lesson 2: Reset Your Standard to Avoid Self-Sabotage
When you’re indebted to someone, it’s like carrying a stone in your pocket — a weight that’s hard to ignore. When your sense of obligation expands to the entire world, it can grow into a boulder, dragging you down no matter how hard you try to move forward. Many of us feel this kind of burden — the constant pressure to “do more” to justify our existence.
Lesson 3: Push Through Awkwardness to Achieve Growth
Spilling coffee on your shirt. Forgetting a name seconds after hearing it. Being met with silence after speaking up. These awkward moments can feel excruciating, but their impact is often far smaller than we imagine. When it comes to personal growth, author Oliver Burkeman suggests that leaning into discomfort isn’t just harmless — it can be surprisingly illuminating.
Lesson 4: Act from a Place of Sanity
“I’ll finally be happy when I’ve decluttered the house.”
“I’ll feel calmer once I’ve meditated every day for a year.”
“I’ll have more time after I get that promotion.”
Sound familiar? Many of us carry the belief that the life we want is just out of reach, always waiting for us to accomplish just a little more or fix what’s not yet perfect. Author Oliver Burkeman invites us to flip this script: What if the way to live our ideal life isn’t about fully achieving it someday but embodying some aspect of it, however small, today?
Lesson 5: Rethink Distractions
Imagine Marie Curie trying to schedule “discover radium” between 2-3 PM, only to have her experiments interrupted by the ping of a productivity app reminding her to “take a mindfulness break.” Or Leonardo da Vinci attempting to refine his latest invention during 25-minute Pomodoro sprints, only to find that breakthroughs don’t always fit neatly into timed intervals. Sounds ridiculous, right? Yet today, we often feel pressured to schedule every minute of our day — only to despair when distractions inevitably disrupt our plans.
Lesson 6: Develop a Taste for Life’s Problems
Negotiating a high-stakes deal, motivating a reluctant team, or even just figuring out how to host a dinner party with only four chairs — problems like these, big and small, are baked into life. It’s easy to view them as frustrations. And sure, they can be. But what if you saw them as chances to get creative, experiment, and uncover strengths you didn’t know you had?
Lesson 7: Make Concrete Progress on a Handful of Things
You know the feeling: staring at a to-do list so long it could double as a scroll in an ancient library. The weight of all those unchecked boxes presses down on you, making it difficult to get started. Now, imagine just three tasks bolded and clear, while the rest fade into the background, safely tucked away to resurface when the time is right. Notice the lightness? The clarity? What if even small shifts in this direction could transform your day?
